The hazards of driving in Johannesburg

2 January 2022
Johannesburg Thunderstorm

Johannesburg thunderstorm / @DazMSmith via Twitter 

Driving into Gauteng this evening with a magnificent thunderstorm in full glory over Johannesburg in the distance, and (of course), my fellow Gatties,1 at the slightest hint of a cloudburst, slow to a crawl in the fast lane of the freeways, and put on their hazard lights.

If you know the type of person who puts on their hazards during a storm, do they know that’s really stupid? Here’s what you should tell them:

  1. Everyone else nearby is in the same rainstorm as you. Do you think they need your flashers to alert them?
  2. If I am behind you when you turn on your flashers and the car next to you slams on the brakes, I won’t be able to see that because your flashers are distracting me.
  3. If you suddenly need to change lanes because the person in front of you slams on the brakes, you won’t be able to use your indicator to let me know you are changing lanes.
  4. If a motorist has a real emergency and puts her flashers on, but to all those virtue-signalling ponces flashing your hazards in the fast lane, how will we (and by “we”, I mean those of us who render emergency services) know she needs help?

Advise them that if they cannot see during a rainstorm, they should pull over to the side of the road and wait till the rain subsides. If they protest, point out that use of hazard lights in non-emergency situations is illegal in most parts of the world where traffic laws are enforced.

  • 1. the collective noun for people who live in Gauteng — William Saunderson-Meyer
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