South African Airways' Olympic Jumbo looks more like a large mouldy pan pizza than a glittering flagship carrying our hopes and dreams...
THERE'S a particular type of arrogance that accompanies those who spend other people's money. It's reflected in the cars that our political leaders drive, SABC's multi-million rand relaunch, and Winnie Mandela's cellular phone bill.
SAA is another candidate for this list. While the rest of us are feeling the pinch of higher interest rates that have caused many of us to lose our homes, these arrogant sods see fit to spend a small fortune on a paint job for a 747.
Now don't get me wrong. I see nothing wrong with corporate sponsorship of our sports teams. They pour money into supporting sport. They get advertising exposure. Sport gets funding. Everyone benefits.
But the problem with SAA is that it is not just another company trying to increase its market share by advertising exposure. These guys are a monopoly.
Yes, I know that we have Comair and Sun Air and SA Express and other small operators, but SAA is a monopoly because it has an asset that the others do not have - taxpayer financing.
This means that no matter how efficiently Comair runs its operation, SAA is always at an advantage because it has access to a fixed source of income that it has not earned.
There are many other institutions that have lived off our pockets, from Armscor to Zwelethini. But SAA's continued funding from state coffers is not the only problem with that corporation.
I'm a frequent flyer. I travel between Durban and Johannesburg at least once a month. Since the Rugby World Cup, almost every SAA flight between Durban and Johannesburg that I have travelled on has run late. I have counted two flights that have run on time, which so awed me that I offered my congratulations to those crews in both cases. The cost of these delays to you and me is immeasurable. Business fliers are among the highest paid people in the country. Every minute that they do not work costs their companies. Those costs get passed on eventually to consumers. It all adds up.
But what really grates is that every time my plane was delayed, there was never an acknowledgement on the part of the flight crew that there was any problem.
SAA recently launched a campaign to redesign its corporate image for the new South Africa.
I really couldn't care whether their old corporate emblem was Verwoerd's head or mating wildebeest emblazoned on the tails of aircraft. If it means forking out millions for cosmetic changes, the money - your money and my money - would be better spent on improved efficiency.
But SAA has also now reached an agreement with Lufthansa to link flight schedules, ticketing, baggage routing and frequent flier programmes. This means that every SAA ticket booth, check in counter, departure lounge and loo roll has to carry the Lufthansa logo. Remaking these costs money. They are proceeding anyway.
And when the corporate redesign scheme is finally decided upon, all of these will have to be remade with the New Improved SAA logo. Simple planning to ensure both changes coincided would have saved a fortune. Who cares? Some other sucker is paying. You and me.
SAA and British Airways between them have a monopoly on the London-South Africa route. This route is one of the most profitable in the world (and most expensive).
Richard Branson has been trying to get a piece of this pie for his Virgin Atlantic Airways, which runs a lean efficient transatlantic service. As a student in the USA, I was able to fly New York to London and back for $99 each way on Virgin during off peak times. If he is able to enter the South African market, the cost of travel to and from Europe and the USA will plummet. South Africa will then become a more affordable holiday destination for tourists from those regions. Our economy will benefit. And everybody will win.
Somebody in government has to see the big picture and act now, or we will continue to blaze new trails down the uncharted territory of third-world inefficiency.