When the only tool you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail, says a recent proverb. It's a concept that has since been referred to as "the law of the instrument". For me, it summarises the problem with government thinking in most parts of the world.
Our government is no exception.
Take the case of a chaotic accident on the N1 North in the vicinity of the 14th Avenue off ramp in Roodeport, Gauteng, on 4 March. Reports say that a truck carrying bricks lost control and ploughed into 27 other vehicles.
The inevitable statement from government that followed urged motorists to reduce speed and observe safe following distances.
The advice would have been absolutely useless in this case. Traffic on that stretch at that time of day is already practically at a standstill and bumper-to-bumper. Then, the truck's brakes failed.
The TV report said the driver tried to use the median concrete barrier to slow his vehicle. Unfortunately, the laws of physics kicked in (bricks piled high means high centre of gravity) and the vehicle toppled.
The law of the instrument leads to really daft thinking. Here's another example: every time a speedster is clocked travelling over 160km/h (which requires arresting the driver in most jurisdictions) politicians call for a reduction in the speed limit.
Good heavens, you moron! Whether the speed limit is 120 or 60, he's still doing 160. How does that change anything other than to penalise those who are driving safely within the speed limit?
Which brings us to the latest shenanigans from the Gauteng provincial government.
The province intends banning the sale of alcohol on Sundays.
You might well ask: given the state of mismanagement of the province generally, surely there are more appropriate ways for the provincial government to be spending their time? Why are they doing this?
Well, it started about two years ago when Premier Nomvula Mokonyane became "concerned about alcohol abuse in the province".
Then last year Trade and Industry Deputy Minister Elizabeth Thabethe grumbled about alcohol abuse among youth and pregnant women, proposed raising the legal alcohol consumption age from 18 to 21, and reducing trading times.
The draft legislation posted on the provincial government website on the very last page labelled "SHCEDULE 3" (sic) lists times various business are able to sell alcohol for consumption on the premises.
Most places (restaurants, taverns, theatres, sports facilities) are allowed to sell alcohol from 10 am to 2 am the following morning. Except for a terse one-liner following: "NO TRADE IN LIQUOR ON SUNDAYS".
And I thought forward to Sunday, 31 March, when Kaizer Chiefs take on Bloemfontein Celtic at the Free State Stadium: At 15h00, thousands of Amakhosi supporters traipse into their favourite pubs in Soweto and Alexandra and Thembisa and Diepsloot to watch the kickoff on the big screen.
What, exactly, does the premier of Gauteng expect them to drink? Coffee? Cola? Lemonade?
And I then shifted the scene to Nelson Mandela Square, specifically to the restaurant Pigalle where BEE types splurge outrageous amounts of other people's money wining and dining each other.
What, exactly, do they offer to the Chinese businessmen they have invited for dinner ahead of the tough negotiations the following day? Green tea with brown rice? Civet coffee? (Very expensive coffee beans which have passed through the digestive tracts of Indonesian pseudo-felines – I kid you not.)
I then mentally hopped across to the Jo'burg Art Gallery which regularly lures otherwise jaded members of the city's cognoscenti to their premises on Sunday afternoon to enjoy a glass of wine while being introduced to up-and-coming artists. Will they swap that for carrot juice?
I'm not particularly affected by any of this because I'm part of the privileged elite. My alcohol purchases tend to be made in the supermarket wine aisles during grocery shopping or by the caseload at the wine estates in the Western Cape or at duty free shops when I travel.
Yes, I do occasionally visit restaurants on Sunday, but will now simply stop doing that.
I will also stop visiting the Jo'burg Art Gallery. I will stop going to the Nelson Mandela Theatre.
I will still enjoy my drink in the airport lounge while waiting to board my flight (because that's free, it's not "trade").
But there are restaurateurs, chefs, waiters, bartenders, tavern owners, and countless others who will simply have no work anymore. All of those places, which currently pour revenue into state and provincial coffers, will not do so any more.
On the bright side, all of those municipalities which fought rezoning to remain in Gauteng might now reconsider.