Emmanuel Macron and Vladimir Putin exchanging warm pleasantries / (supplied)
France’s president Emmanuel Macron and Russia’s president Vladimir Putin met in Moscow. They were pictured sitting at opposite ends of a long table which immediately reminded me of the adage that he who sups with the devil should have a long spoon.
Today, Reuters reported that the two leaders sat apart because Macron refused to take a Russian Covid PCR test, so Putin insisted on what I would call extreme social distancing.
That's all well and good, except Reuters' "sources" say Macron did not take the test because, (and I quote): "We knew very well that meant no handshake and that long table. But we could not accept that they get their hands on the president's DNA."
I damn near fell off my chair laughing.
Surely if anyone wanted to get samples of Macron's DNA, there are easier ways of going about it than insisting on a Covid test?
Here's a list of the various samples that can be used.
Let me apply my mind to Frederick Forsythe type scenarios where someone looking like Edward Fox has accepted the mission to acquire Macron's DNA.
|
ALTERNATIVE/DISCREET DNA SAMPLES |
COMMENTS |
SHIPPING INSTRUCTIONS |
SUCCESS RATE |
|
TOOTHBRUSH (USED AT LEAST 20x’s) |
Air Dry for 30-60 minutes |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
80% |
|
EAR WAX |
Noticeable amount of Ear Wax on Cotton Swab or Q-Tip. |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
80% |
|
HAIR |
Roots and Follicles must be attached, must provide at least 20-40 strands of hair. |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
80% |
|
DIABETIC TEST STRIPS |
Used Diabetic Test Strips (noticeable blood) 5-6 Strips Recommended |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
75% |
|
NAIL CLIPPINGS (FINGER OR TOE) |
Freshly Cut Nails work best (5-10 nail clippings) |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
75% |
|
USED KLEENEX |
Visible Mucus |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
75% |
|
BLOOD STAIN (Dry Blood) |
Noticeable Blood Stain on Band-Aid, Tissue (Kleenex), Gauze, Fabric, Napkin, or Clothing |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
75% |
|
HAIR BRUSH OR COMB |
Must contain noticeable amounts of hair, and debris |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
75% |
|
HATS |
Hats, Baseball Caps, Bandana, Beanie Cap UNWASHED – Noticeably Worn with Sweat Stains |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
75% |
|
UNDERGARMENTS |
Underwear, Panties, Boxers, or Briefs – UNWASHED |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
75% |
|
HEARING AID |
Hearing Aid that has been noticeably worn, and not cleaned |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
60% |
|
GUM |
Sugar-Free Gum Preferred, DO NOT TOUCH the gum with fingers, use a glove or clean dry paper towel to pick up and place in paper envelope |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
60% |
|
CIGARETTE BUTTS |
Multiple Cigarette Butts DO NOT touch the Butts, use a glove or clean dry paper towel to pick up and place into paper envelope. |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
60% |
|
RAZOR (ELECTRIC OR DISPOSABLE) |
Send entire blade with debris |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
50% |
|
DENTAL FLOSS/DENTAL FLOSS PICKS |
Do Not Touch with Fingers, use a glove or clean dry paper towel to pick up and place into paper envelope. |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
50% |
|
SPERM/SEMEN |
Collected on Cotton Swab or Q-Tip from Condom (2-3 Swabs/Q-Tips) Let Air-Dry for 60 minutes |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
Less than 40% |
|
CONDOM |
Send whole used condom |
Ship in Paper Envelope |
Less than 40% |
